Well Deer Season is over got the freezer loaded up shot 2 10 pointers and this 9 pointer that when 133-7/8. DRT Shot him right below the ear
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The Complete Deer Hunting Story
Well after all the cleaning was done it was way past dark and a few beers in somehow my internal navigation system had a failure and one misplaced step going down the staircase which had 17 concrete steps in all and I hit 16 of them almost a perfect score which resulted in a cracked sternum, cracked ribs, broke thumb, shredded shoulder and sprained ankle. Now I have never had my azz just completely kicked and this includes Motorcycle crashes and a 100 mph blow over jet boat crash but I am here to tell you that stair case just whooped me like a redheaded stepchild with an extra large can of whoopazz. Now my good ole hunting buddies informed me that I was bleeding and not wanting to show any sign of weakness. I casually asked really ? Where? one of them replied everywhere are you ok. Now at this point I am not really feeling anything just yet so of course my reply was oh heck yes just a little skinned up, its all good, grabbed me a beer cause well the one I had in my hand was broken in the aforesaid navigation failure. The evening continued after a shower to wash all the blood off the pain was not too bad about a 7 on scale of 1 to 1.5 nothing a few straight Bourbons and ice would not fix. Now the next day made that 7 look like a mild headache, I get my bruised, bloodied busted up broken azz home and the motorcycle immediately fires up complaining and beeching and goes from 4 stroke mode to 2 stroke mode like a runaway Detroit diesel engine. You have ruined the holidays we are not going to be able to go to my parents blah blah blah ( its strange how you can choke your wife during sex and that s ok but any other time its a felony) any way after waiting in the ER for 12 hrs or so listing to my run away Detroit diesel we get called to the back the nurse takes my blood pressure (sir how long have you had high blood pressure my reply was every since I got married about 28 years ago. Now the ole Detroit Diesel found a new gear like some one gave it a 250 hp shot of propane so they get some X-Rays and scans and all the news on what was wrong with me well about this time I asked him well what about this weird noise I keep hearing and he said well describe it well Doc it sounds like a runaway Detroit Diesel or a Ducatti Motorcycle and I have been hearing it for the 13 hours or so and I could really use some pain meds and ear plugs well that was more than she could take I am telling you, she said thats it thats the last straw (fortunately, I am prepared cause I always carry an extra box of straws for just such an occasion) The holidays are ruined cant visit her parents Blah Blah Blah well if I had known that's all it took to keep from seeing your parents I would fall down the stairs every year during the holidays, Well the New Year came and went and now the motorcycle is back to Idle. See with me being all busted up I could not get the Xmas Lights so Mrs. Ducatti in all her wisdom said well I will just do it myself. Now being the good husband I am I strongly I repeat strongly advised against this, we can pay someone to take them down. No she said that will cost to much money I will do it and save us a few hundred dollars ( chick Math Go Figure) well Mrs Detroit Diesel gets the extension ladder out and promptly fell off it, now some how this is my fault and I have yet too precisely find the formula she used to reach her conclusion but it has to be some Mrs. Einstein Chick Math Formula like beech = I am always right x the speed of pizzed off Squared or something along those lines, anyway when I get it figured out I will you guys know, So back to the hospital we go. 13 hrs later and X Ray her foot is broken in 3 places a couple of pain pills in and the runaway Detroit is finally now at a nice quiet smooth Idle.