This is a no shitter-
In 88, I was a PO1 (E-6), we were pulling in to Charleston and there was a stiff breeze blowing us off the pier.
I was handling lines aft and the line surged and about 40 feet of line shot through the bitts. A few of us were injured. One kid was partially degloved, my buddy lost all the skin on the side of his knee and got a good sprain and some non-skid rash, my injury was a torn abdominal muscle because I didn't let go and the muscle just tore. Made it almost impossible to stand up. We were all shot up with morphine and stabilized while they finished tying up and ambulances were on the pier to transport us to the ER by then.
In the ER, they discovered my abdominal muscle tore loose at the bottom and was bunched up at my sternum.
A pretty female doc (CDR/O-5) examined me and did an anal check to see if there were any internal tears there.
I tell you all of that to tell you this-
Doc was missing her middle finger. Being a squid and stoned on morphine, I made a joke and told her something like, "Doc, it feels like you left something up there. there's a finger or something in my ass"
As she realized I was making fun of her missing finger she turned red with rage and lost her shit, screaming about what an asshole I was to make fun of other people's misfortune. Screamed that she was writing me up. She actually had to be dragged out still screaming. I was in pain but stoned and just laid there grinning.
The ER Chief doc came and told me how bad I fucked up and probably the only thing that saved me was her inappropriate behavior.
Best ass check ever!
The worst was also a female Dr. Her hands were small, but boney!
