This is a 'No Shitter' (Navy for true story).
Back in the mid 80s, during an inspection, I was standing an armed watch and being questioned by the inspector about watchstander actions in certain conditions.
The missile house door pops open and out pops a shipmate dressed in a sundress he'd found in a rag bale.
He had his tits stuffed out to about a triple D and a mop on his head.
He popped the door open, grinded his croth on my leg, and said, "Hey sailor, you want some of this hot box?"
Then looked up and saw the inspector, yelled, "Oh, shit!" and ducked back in the missile house and slammed the door.
The inspector didn't miss a beat, he just said, "We're just gonna pretend that didn't happen."