Went to the Post Office for some stupid reason last week to get some packages off. It was a maddening conversation one would typically have with a government organization, no wonder they don't let CC holders carry a weapon on their property:
me: "Hello, I'd like to get this with two-day shipping".
USPS person "Oh, NOTHING is getting anywhere in two days. But, you can pay for two day shipping & if it's not there in five days you can request a refund"
Me: "Then that's not two day shipping. If the soonest is 5 days then I'll pay for 5 day shipping"
USPS person: "5 day shipping won't get it there in a week, the only way to get it there in 5 days is to pay for 2 day shipping".
Me: "So paying for 2 day shipping will get it there within a week, not two days."
USPS person: "Yes".