Sleep question (Is this unusual?)

[AndyG]

Twice in the last six months my wife has woken me up because of some alarming situation - She didn’t scream or yell but she called my name loud enough to wake me up.

In both instances I woke up in a full blown screaming panic.

I’m talking coming unglued.

I would quickly realize everything was OK and calm down.

Have any of you guys ever experienced anything like this.

I would certainly say that I am keyed up sometimes and that being a contractor is a stressful occupation much of the time. I have wondered if that were the underlying cause.

Your pal,
AndyG

 

[Apparition]

I’ll just say at least she didn’t scream some other guys name.

 

[Zorba]

I have a HELL of a time waking my wife up without her going into what I call "tiny and terrified" mode. Some people just wake up like that I guess.

 

[thrownclear]

I was a contractor for 30 years. At least you’re able to sleep.

 

[AndyG]

I was a contractor for 30 years. At least you’re able to sleep.

Brother you are not kidding. ...you know I really don’t think that I am articulate enough to describe how difficult the job is.

Last week I had one person complaining they weren’t getting enough hours and another person threatening to quit for getting too many.

One time our roofer took the roof off the wrong house.

I could easily write a book. I just don’t know if it would be in the comedy or the horror section.

 

[AndyG]

I’ll just say at least she didn’t scream some other guys name.

Maybe it scared me that she wasn’t.

 

[Bammo68]

Twice in the last six months my wife has woken me up because of some alarming situation - She didn’t scream or yell but she called my name loud enough to wake me up.

In both instances I woke up in a full blown screaming panic.

Andy - are you sleeping well otherwise? What you are describing might be related to an underlying sleep disorder like Sleep Apnoea. If your regular sleep cycle is being disrupted then your ability to transition through REM sleep gets disrupted and that can lead to all sorts of odd side affects. You dont have to be snoring loudly to have sleep apnoea (though its often a common indicator). If you are under stress, over 50 and potentially carrying a few extra pounds and you drink alcohol these things can all trigger it. Some folks experience the jerking legs which wakes you up feeling like you have been electrocuted, others can have that feeling of utter doom and despair come crashing down for a few seconds - its short but can feel like a body blow and further disrupts the sleep that night.

A sleep study may be a worthwhile investment - if it turns out that there is something going on a few lifestyle changes can usually turn it around or of course there are options like CPAP - if indeed this is part of the issue. Of course it could be that your Wife is secretly a vampire or sadist and is torturing you in your sleep for fun in which case I dunno what to tell you man, suggest wearing garlic infused pajamas to bed maybe.

 

[Jack72]

Sounds like anxiety induced by stress.

 

[wigsajumper]

Might be stress related as mentioned. Stress dumps hormones into our system and then keeps us ready to react. I used to wake up ready to fight whenever there was a slight noise out of the ordinary. Took me years to sleep right after getting out of the service. Still have issues at times.

What helped me was exercising before bed, spending a few minutes just breathing (yeah I know is sounds hippy new agey but it worked), recently started using Ashwagandha and magnesium supplements and it seems to help.

 

[Mhass]

Not sure if this is unusual for your wife or you or both. Historically, has she been able to wake you without you being in a panic? Did she wake you because she sensed you were in distress in a dream, then you brought that stress into a semi-conscious state?
I don't know your history or what might be inducing your panic, but obviously some sort of distress. It could simply be a bad dream but you didn't expound on your memories upon waking.

To answer your question-yes, I've experienced it-my wife and kids know not to touch me or even stand too close when they wake me. Not necessarily from bad dreams or a trauma response, I just wake up ready to fight all the time. It was quite the joke in the Navy to tell the new guy that I sleep really hard and he had to shake me hard to wake me...That topic still comes up at reunions.
There used to be nightmares related to past events also, those are very rare now.

Check your mental state brother. If this becomes a regular thing your health will suffer. Lack of sleep will kill you faster than lack of food and water, but you get to lose your mind along the way. If it's just transitory stress, you're probably ok. If it's an unaddressed stressor that is coming out in your sleep because you haven't addressed it in your life, and it doesn't stop you will suffer. So will your wife and it has an exponential progression some times. Stuffing your shit because you're a man is possibly the dumbest shit our dads taught us.

The sleep study isn't a bad idea, but don't discount mental or spiritual help from a professional. Not sure why there's such a stigma to getting that kind of help but it can do wonders for your state of mind and calm your soul and make you more effective in ALL your endeavors.

I was taught (by a shrink and other mentors) to do a daily inventory and address my shortcomings through prayer, expressing gratitude for the grace I received from others and asking for help to improve where I fell short and knowledge of His path for me and help walking that path. Also, sought and implemented organizational practices to help me be more effective at work and in personal efforts.

It sounds ridiculous and sometimes I wonder if anybody is on the other end of those prayers...it doesn't matter though. It works for me and I've gone from a few hours of fitful sleep to 6-7 solid hours of restorative sleep. Either way, don't wait till this becomes a health or marriage crisis to take action.

 

[AndyG]

Not sure if this is unusual for your wife or you or both. Historically, has she been able to wake you without you being in a panic? Did she wake you because she sensed you were in distress in a dream, then you brought that stress into a semi-conscious state?
I don't know your history or what might be inducing your panic, but obviously some sort of distress. It could simply be a bad dream but you didn't expound on your memories upon waking.

To answer your question-yes, I've experienced it-my wife and kids know not to touch me or even stand too close when they wake me. Not necessarily from bad dreams or a trauma response, I just wake up ready to fight all the time. It was quite the joke in the Navy to tell the new guy that I sleep really hard and he had to shake me hard to wake me...That topic still comes up at reunions.
There used to be nightmares related to past events also, those are very rare now.

Check your mental state brother. If this becomes a regular thing your health will suffer. Lack of sleep will kill you faster than lack of food and water, but you get to lose your mind along the way. If it's just transitory stress, you're probably ok. If it's an unaddressed stressor that is coming out in your sleep because you haven't addressed it in your life, and it doesn't stop you will suffer. So will your wife and it has an exponential progression some times. Stuffing your shit because you're a man is possibly the dumbest shit our dads taught us.

The sleep study isn't a bad idea, but don't discount mental or spiritual help from a professional. Not sure why there's such a stigma to getting that kind of help but it can do wonders for your state of mind and calm your soul and make you more effective in ALL your endeavors.

I was taught (by a shrink and other mentors) to do a daily inventory and address my shortcomings through prayer, expressing gratitude for the grace I received from others and asking for help to improve where I fell short and knowledge of His path for me and help walking that path. Also, sought and implemented organizational practices to help me be more effective at work and in personal efforts.

It sounds ridiculous and sometimes I wonder if anybody is on the other end of those prayers...it doesn't matter though. It works for me and I've gone from a few hours of fitful sleep to 6-7 solid hours of restorative sleep. Either way, don't wait till this becomes a health or marriage crisis to take action.

If I do a daily inventory and address my shortcomings I’ll never have time to get out of the house


Actually, thank you and thank all of you for being so honest and transparent.

 

[srimes]

Sleep is naturally a vulnerable state. I get mad when people don't respect that. I'd ask the wife to try and wake you up gently if it isn't an emergency.

 

[Westtown Willy]

may years ago a good friend told me a similar story, he was waking up every night screaming, demons all around. I said to him look on the bright side, at least when you wake up you get some relief, to which he replied "no, it's worse when I'm awake"

 

[AndyG]

It certainly makes me wonder if I’m really resting the way that I need to be-

Or am I sleeping so deep she’s having to get pretty loud to get me conscious

 

[WestCoastDan]

I'm not an expert, but I'm old enough to have learned some shit from those who are.

Sleep disorders aside, it definitely sounds like the pressures from your daily work/life could be mounting up, causing anxiety.

Stress & anxiety both have very powerful impacts on our health, and it reveals itself in strange ways, through dreams (as we try to work through them) as well as physical reactions (blood pressure, night sweats, panic attacks, etc.).

If I was a betting man, I'd put my money down on your mind working through some of these stresses (dreaming) when she woke you.
That was essentially another interruption to you resolving the issues, which actually increased your agitation/stress; not unlike getting one of the "you've got to be kidding me calls/moments" you have described previously.

Basically, stressful life = stressful sleep and she probably interrupted a very stressful dream. Once conscious, your mind/body responded like it was another threat - with panic/agitation (BTW, panic is a pretty basic emotion, not unlike "fight or flight mode").

I'd check out your blood pressure - just to see if it is within normal parameters. You certainly don't want that shit to creep up on you and cause a heart attack, aneurism, etc. - it's a silent killer if given the chance.

It may not apply, but cutting out any caffeine late in the day might also help you get more restful/peaceful sleep. And for God sakes, don't 'go over' todays' problems or tomorrows' projects right before you go to bed, you need some "off the clock time".

I hope it gets better for you soon, Andy.

 

[JEEPSTEVENANAIMO]

I would be getting a sleep study done asap. my job isnt stressful so i cant speak to that but mental health plays a huge part in your sleep game.

 

[Zorba]

Sleep apnea is the "in" thing right now, seems every doc is pushing it (so is my dentist!) - so be wary. With that said, I'm not you, so it can't be ruled out either. Investigate, but keep your eyes open.

 

[Rubiconned]

Don

I would certainly say that I am keyed up sometimes and that being a contractor is a stressful occupation much of the time. I have wondered if that were the underlying cause.

PSD.
Pissed Supervisor Disorder

 

[AndyG]

Don


PSD.
Pissed Supervisor Disorder

Herding cats.

You really have to do it to realize how crazy it is.

I had a worker tell me this week we needed a dryer cord that was 24 inches longer.

Dude. Longer than what?

So we go get one.


Then the genius who was behind this project getting off course tells us you don’t need one we got one at the job.

So we return it.

Well guess what that idiot didn’t check to see the orientation of the ground plug and it didn’t fit.

Then we had to round it up again. This goes on constantly.

I’ll tell you something hard about being a leader- treating people with respect that you despise.

You know I think the real exhausting part of the job is having to think for other people. And it’s a little hard to keep a great attitude about that when you know good and well you shouldn’t have to do as much of that.

 

[AndyG]

You know you can look at every post and essentially everybody is saying the exact same thing-

And when a lot of people from different walks of life are coming to the same conclusion there is some collective human wisdom going on.

I guess one thing I want to say is if something is starting I want to be aware and head that off.

I’m also going to say I fully realize that a stress-free existence is not going to happen for anyone because there is simply stress in human survival.

At the same time modern life can really induce unhealthy stress with unhealthy consequences.

I don’t want to play the victim- I’ve had my wins and I’ve had my mistakes- And I’ve made choices like my career choice that I need to live with at the same time I’m also a believer that you don’t have to lay down and let things destroy you. We are the architects of our own lives.